NRI Takes a Break

This great article takes a pot shot at NRIs returning from pardes (foreign country) to India. It's worth a good laugh. How about an alternative point of view? That of the returning daughter-of-the-soil. I eagerly look forward to my annual pilgrimage to my home. In fact I can give you some fine pointers on how to have a happy vacation back home.

Step 1: Brush up your Maths
Now you ask me why is that necessary. Arre, you need it if you are "budget-
conscious" like me. I would happily go with the cargo if airlines allowed that. You may have to work out several permutations and combinations of dates, vacation days, and your salary to get the right ticket. For the right price you may get to go to Delhi via, Germany, Thailand, and Sri Lanka. (If you travel by Business Class all the time, please quit this blog right now. I'm jealous.)

What's your weakness?

Gaah...it's there everywhere.. in college applications, job interviews...maybe your own resume. What? Well, this idea that your weakness should never be out of your own sweet closet. It should be passed off as a sone-ka-biskut (gold biscuit) instead. Who came up with this brilliant idea anyway? It's made my world more boring. For example, when I ask people about their weaknesses in an interview, pat comes the reply... "Oh! I tend to overwork, you know", "I just don't know when to stop working", "I help everyone, I just cannot say no".

What’s with Passport photos?

What is it with Passport photos? They gang up with application forms to make us run through several hoops and loops . Here is sample behaviour of passport photos (and their accomplice - application form).
1) You take 6 passport photos of yourself. You use 2 and save the rest for another time. Now when you need to fill another application form you have no worries as the photos are already there. You just need to stick them while submitting. On the day of submission, you search high and low for the pictures and they are nowhere to be found. You turn out the cupboards, you fling open the shelves and empty all contents on the floor, you upturn your bedding, but the photos are still invisible. Nowhere to be seen. Meanwhile your house looks like it’s been struck by robbers.
2) You take another 6 passport photos of yourself. You use 2 and save the rest for another time. This time you remember where you saved it.

I call it discrimination

Today my friend asked me about my bargaining skills. Bargaining? What’s a bargain? I asked. This resulted in his eyebrows shooting upwards faster than the current sensex. “You are a girl! You don’t bargain?”
Stung by this careless remark, I told him that once in Thailand, I had gotten a necklace for 100 baht as compared to the original price of 110 baht. I proudly added that the shopkeeper agreed almost immediately and was in fact smiling at me. My friend countered that the smile actually meant “So long sucker!”
Well, I agree that I cannot bargain, but what’s a “girl” got to do with the skill? I call for equal rights to purchase anything without jumping at the seller’s label..err lapel first! Now that this thread has started, I want to ask for equal rights for both the genders on several other important issues.

This Ad's a puzzle

What is it with TV adverts these days? Every 5th Ad has a cute-as-a-button kid to peddle its wares. Now we have kids selling us stuff ranging from toothpaste to insurance policies.
I’m sure the advertisers expect us to melt to a gooey puddle and slide our way to the market immediately. Now I can imagine that those with sun shining on their rooftops would fall in love immediately with these ads. However, I’m sure some people like me manage to find the “other side” of these bright-as-sunshine ads. I can find a fly in my soup faster than you can spell F-L-Y.

Are you where you wanted to be?

“If given a chance I wouldn’t change a thing. I am very proud that I’m seeing this day. It is all due to my hard work and continuous struggle and I wouldn’t want to change that.”
No this is not the story of my life. This is the standard response that you get from a newly-minted celebrity when posed with the following question:
“If God let you change anything that has happened in the past. Would you like anything to be different?”

Come on interviewers, why do you even ask this question, when you know that the answer will be as exciting as an upcoming tax deadline.
It’s quite surprising that such varied people such as politicians, cricketers, authors, and actors think alike on this matter. It’s like watching all these beauty pageant contestants going through the “world peace” drill again and again.

Shoes…shoes..everywhere!

The humble shoe has come a long way from the early ages where it served the purpose of protecting human feet. It still serves as a protection for feet, but it’s humble no more!. It is revered by humans and animals alike. Yes, the other day I saw a Pomeranian strutting about in 2 pairs of expensive shoes. Judging from the superior expression on his jowls, it seemed to be quite disdainful of my own pair. May your shoes get chewed on by your own nephews pommie!

Shoes these days come in all shapes and sizes and are used for all sorts of things. There are beautiful poems dedicated to shoes. Apparently, even the devil seems to prefer a particular brand of shoe. What I’m intrigued by is the number of other uses a shoe can have.

City Tales

Once In a while I have this argument with my hubby (hereafter he will be known as H in this space) about shifting back to India. He wants to go back to Delhi, while I always dilly-dally at the mention of the city. “But why?”, he asks me and I have no answers. Today, I read this great article by Ramachandra Guha about Delhi being several cities within one city. I could not agree more.

I still remember how awed I was when I visited Delhi as a child, somewhere in the early 90s. Wide roads, “tall” buildings (tall by my standards at least), and so many vehicles. I remembered being thrilled by the DDA flat where my aunt lived… and wonders of wonders, you could change TV channels (courtesy Metro TV!) My aunt would proudly tell me that there is ALWAYS electricity in the capital; people will riot if the power goes off for even a few minutes. And man! You could shop forever; there was just so much stuff for every kind of pocket!

A bit of Luck

Then there was this story I read about this girl who always won something in a lucky draw. Always. You know the kind that happen in office Christmas bashes or charity balls. That got me thinking, How well do I fare in these draws? Somehow the law of probability does not apply to me. So if the chances are that the draw is for something that brings a smile to my (already glowing) face, I can be sure that all I’ll get in the end is the other half of the coupon that held my number. On the other hand, if the draw involves something that involves a rigorous exercise of my limbs, my thinkbox or my lachrymal glands (you get the drift), I am sure as the sky is blue that I will pick up the “winning” number.
You don’t believe me do you? Here, let me drop some precious bits from my past. I can prove by historical examples, that what I stated above is absolutely true. I don’t lie at all, believe me.. In fact I don’t even like to write the “”L” word.. but I’m digressing here..